Ballroom etiquette

[mightymads]

Continuing the topic of social dances, here are some excerpts from the few sources I could find:

- A ball is the ultimate occasion for a heady kind of courtship—a trying out of partners that is exciting, flirtatious and downright erotic. Couples perform together, feeling each other’s physical proximity (though both men and women wore gloves throughout) while being watched by others. Many of the dances were physically demanding: a ball might last for six hours or more, and end only as dawn approached. In a crowded room lit by candles the heat could be overwhelming.

- The patterns of steps and movements were often complicated and required a great deal of practice. Books were published to guide would-be dancers. Dancing well was a test.

- We are not obliged to go exactly at the appointed hour; it is even fashionable to go an hour later.

- A man can only ask a woman to dance if he has been formally introduced to her.

- You should always dance first with your own partner, afterwards you may exchange partners with a friend or dance again with her, should she not be engaged. At the conclusion of the dance conduct your partner to her seat, and pay her that attention which will be most likely to anticipate her wants; she may require her shawl, fan, or refreshments, these you may suggest without being improperly assiduous.

- In public balls, a gentleman offers his partner refreshments, but which she very seldom accepts, unless she is well acquainted with him.

- Neither in the ball room, or in any other public place, be too ready to take offence. If an intentional insult should be offered, the presence of ladies should make your notice so slight that none but the aggressor should be aware of it. A well-bred lady will not thank you for making her a spectacle in a public room. A man of true courage will disguise his sentiments on such an occasion and seek a proper time for explanation, rather than disturb the harmony of the company by an immediate exhibition of force in repelling the insult.

- Should there not be as many gentlemen as ladies present, two ladies may be permitted to dance together, in order to fill up a set, or two gentlemen, should there be a want of ladies.

- In taking your seat at the supper table, the lady takes her place, to the right of the gentleman.

- A gentleman will not take a vacant seat next to a lady who is a stranger to him. If she is an acquaintance, he may do so with her permission.

- It is not considered proper for a gentleman to eat with his gloves on, though a lady may do so without being contrary to etiquette.

- No gentleman should attempt to dance without being acquainted with the figures, for his blunders place the lady who does him the honor to dance, in an embarrassing situation; the figures are easily learned and sufficient knowledge of them can be obtained from a good master in a few lessons.

- A lady cannot refuse the invitation of a gentleman to dance, unless she has already accepted that of another, for she would be guilty of an incivility which might occasion trouble; she would, moreover, seem to show contempt for him whom she refused, and would expose herself to receive in secret an ill compliment from the mistress of the house.

- Married or young ladies can not leave a ball-room, or any other party, alone. The former should be accompanied by one or two other married ladies, and the latter by their mother, or by a lady to represent her.

- Beware, also, of taking your place in a set of dancers more skillful than yourself. When an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake, we may apprise him of his error; but it would be very impolite to have the air of giving him a lesson.

- Dance with grace and modesty, neither affect to make a parade of your knowledge; refrain from great leaps and ridiculous jumps, which would attract the attention of all toward you.

- We should retire incognito, in order not to disturb the master and mistress of the house; and we should make them, during the week, a visit of thanks, at which we may converse of the pleasure of the ball and the good selection of the company.

- When a gentleman escorts a lady home from a ball, she should not invite him to enter the house; and even if she does so, he should by all means decline the invitation. He should call upon her during the next day or evening.

Sources:

Discovering Literature: Romantics & Victorians

19th Century Etiquette of Dancing, Ballroom

Manners, Culture and Dress of the Best American Society

So it seems like people took dance lessons as well as read manuals to stay up-to-date with all intricacies. And maybe Holmes and Watson dancing together at the ball was not that impossible after all.



UPD There is a nice documentary on dancing by Dr. Lucy Worsley. Episode 2 is dedicated to the 19th century.

Comments

[tei]

How delightful, thank you! 😍

[mightymads]

I wish I could find more :)

"making up a set" for dancing

[disassembly_rsn]

I have the impression (possibly incorrect) that this phrase definitely applies to country dancing, a.k.a. square dancing, and possibly only to square dancing. Does the term 'making up a set' apply to waltzing as well?

In other words, would the pairing up of same-sex partners in the absence of opposite-sex partners only apply in a square dance / country dance by the cited etiquette rule?

Re: "making up a set" for dancing

[mightymads]

It was an excerpt from “Complete Ball-room Hand Book”. I honestly don’t know whether it could be applied to waltz, since I could find very few resources.



Here’s more for the context:

If a dispute should occur in a ball room, which arises more frequently through carelessness or inattention to the simplest rules of etiquette than from any other cause, application should be made to the managers, whose decision should be abided by. It often happens that a couple may stand too far from their vis-a-vis, or even turn their backs to them, and engage in conversation with those in another set. In the mean time a couple take their position in the set, not knowing that it was previously engaged, as soon as the music commences, the first couple claim their right of precedence, and thus by their carelessness, a dispute arises as to places, which might have been easily avoided, by being more attentive to the rules necessary to be observed on such occasions.

In taking your place in a set, be sure to secure a vis-a-vis, as you will by that means avoid being left alone, or under the necessity of removing to another set.

Re: "making up a set" for dancing

[cimorene]

No, it can't be applied to the waltz, because the waltz is a paired dance and doesn't use sets. The couples in the waltz (and in later ballroom dances such as the foxtrot, the swing, and latin dancing) dance in pairs that move independently of each other; the dancers need only be in multiples of two.

But it's not only square dancing which uses sets - in fact square dancing wasn't invented until the 20th century. The English country dances on which it was based tend to be line-based, as are other European dances you can probably find videos of. These are usually danced with two parallel facing lines of dancers. The lady starts opposite her partner, and each line is usually made up of ladies and gentlemen alternating. The ballroom scene in Pride & Prejudice 2005 springs to mind as a visual example, but many Austen films show bits of this style of dancing. Some of these dances, however, because of the steps, require a multiple of four (possibly sometimes even a multiple of eight?) to be performed, so those are the sets in question.

But all that aside, I can imagine that rule might still be applied, er, a bit loosely... perhaps it could still be okay for two men to dance together if there were no ladies in want of a partner, only ones who didn't wish to dance. Then people would likely simply chuckle at two men dancing together (it might be seen as slightly scandalous - I'm speculating here though, perhaps it wouldn't, or perhaps it would depend on the formality of the party and how well the participants knew one another and so on. And of course Ritchie's Holmes would probably be more likely to do something because it was scandalous, not less.)

Re: "making up a set" for dancing

[mightymads]

Thank you so much for explaining! That was really insightful, especially considering how little on the matter can be found out there :)

Re: "making up a set" for dancing

[cimorene]

When I was in college in New England I got to attend contradancing meetups pretty frequently for a while. Contradance is even more recently invented than square dance, but it's also based on pre-modern country dances from various parts of Europe (sometimes more closely than square dance) and therefore they would often include a couple of genuinely traditional dances each time. More generally, most contradances do have the general facing-lines structure of the old English country dances, although I understand they've taken a fair amount of license with music and steps. 🙂

Re: "making up a set" for dancing

[mightymads]

Now the picture is so much clearer for me. There are indeed so many intricacies that I’m even more convinced that one had to attend balls frequently or take lessons now and then to be confident in one’s skills :)

Re: "making up a set" for dancing

[cimorene]

Yeah! Well - I think ladies would teach each other (their friends) when gentlemen weren't present and vice-versa, to avoid embarrassment in public, if someone already liked dancing but just needed to learn a new dance or step. But private dancing instructors were definitely a popular thing at least for the wealthy - probably a mixture of the extra-insecure and the extra-enthusiastic...

Re: ladies and gentlemen teaching each other separately

[mightymads]

And here we’ve come full circle to Holmes and Watson practicing dancing with each other. Even if Holmes didn’t want to attract attention from the public by asking Watson out for a dance at the ball, they definitely could dance together in 221b. Besides, it’s a good workout too, if the weather or mood isn’t suitable for an outing to a boxing ring :D